The Pivot

 At this point, my life is just a haunting freak show that I cannot understand and yet, I am part of it. Am I just a part of it or am I the head of this circus on a speedy roller coaster I call my life?

Hi, am LJ, and yes as my name suggests, one might think am a  handsome cool teenage kid that lives in a big mansion in the Beverly Hills, and drives a fancy GT Mustang to some high-end high school where I play as the quarterback, and is the dream of every girl and envy to all boys. Some of these might be true. In fact, it really depends on how you see me that makes it true. Truth is relative… I guess.  Some people say am sweet some may not, and that’s okay.

My truth is, I am LJ, a normal local young man in a country that has seen a lot of drama in regard to the transition of power from one regime to another. I don’t go to a fancy private high school (Those I only see in Netflix movies and streaming services), don’t have a fancy car leave alone a bicycle, and am not a sucker for sports. I am just a normal young man with dreams to become someone great in the future.

Graduation day was one of the best moments of my life if not the best. Everything spelled out success. From the long gowns and hats to the smiles on my comrades' faces, the many flashing cameras, and the word congratulations that filled the very soul of the atmosphere. Everyone was happy. Even Prof. Mutuku, who we never saw a smile in lecture sessions in all our four years was frequently noticed to show his front set of white teeth in a freaky weird grin. As I gave my valedictorian’s speech all I could think of was how my life was going to be great. Momma fixed her eyes on me and all I could read from those eyes was how proud she was of her son.

Five years have passed since graduation, someone might overestimate my age. I look a lot much older than my actual age. My skin grows creases every day and I think am growing a belly. It’s not that I don’t have a job, no, not at all. In fact, I do have a job. But I never thought that I would end up on this path. Every day, as I open and close the gates behind these fancy cars as they enter or leave, makes me ask myself where I went wrong. Some of those who drive such cars are a lot younger than me. Maybe they are just chauffeurs and drivers or maybe those are just their parents’.

My home is a crampy rusted one-room mabati house, held down outside by wooden pegs to avoid collapsing inwardly. Cold, heat, and rain are frequent visitors in my little abode. For the matters of digested food, a hole in the shrubs surrounding the local football pitch would do (This of course is at night) or a flying plastic bag (This is the most common method). Woe unto you if you have a broken roof. I live in the rejected side of the city where picketing and daylight robbery is the norm. It is quite similar to Rockstar’s Grand Theft Auto Vice City video game. One requires some special skillset to survive in such an environment. Con artisans come in different genders, corners, and ages. This is the hive of all criminal activities. The number one rule in this environment is to mind your own business. I have learned to adjust to these surrounding and funny as it seems, come to love it. In fact, I have concocted a good lie to my comrades about how my life has taken a great turn since graduation (I mean, as a valedictorian of your class, the expectation is, that you’re the most likely to succeed). It's hard but social media does most of the work and I think it is doing quite the job. Avoiding direct contact with people who knew me while on campus and those from my village does the trick for me. From first-class honors graduate to a glorified soldier of the night’s watch, yes, this is now the reality of my life, the life I live in the city.